and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
