When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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