my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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