Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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