you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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