I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
