I CAN MOONWALK!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
