I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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