I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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