Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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