can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
