she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I party with great urgency now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
