I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
