I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
