The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
