Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so let's talk penis.
we're making bets on your personal life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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