wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
