it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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