No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
