omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
