What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
