Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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