im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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