You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
