whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
