we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
4 words: hood of his car
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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