So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
