started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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