Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
