She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
