70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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