Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
