that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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