I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
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