I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
