i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just had sex on a roof
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
The ass gains better be worth it
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