it hurts more in the daytime
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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