yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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