OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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