In the future we'll all be gay
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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