break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
