he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
