Just fell off a train. Bad.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
