Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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