i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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