everyone is single if you try hard enough
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.