i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.