Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
