You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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