He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
