I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize