Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
