and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
