OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
