the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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