Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize