If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
people are starting to question the shark bite story
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
