Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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