so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
